Diary of a Snow Shoveler

 

As I sit here watching the snow fall for the 3rd day in a row, I was reminded of something a friend emailed to me when we first moved here to the North Country.  Being a beach girl, snow was a rare treat, so by the end of the first winter, I had a new appreciation for it.  This little story reminded me of how we felt by the end of last Winter which was by far, milder than what we are experiencing this year.  Hope it makes you chuckle and for those of you in Snow Country, I’m sure you will be able to relate…enjoy!

 

Diary of a Snow Shoveler

December 8:   6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season
  and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window
  watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a
  Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again.
  I love snow!

December 9:    We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow
  covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can
  there  be a more lovely place in the Whole World?
  Moving here was the best idea I’ve ever had.
  Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again.
  I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the
  snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the
  driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life!

December 12:     The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a
  disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we’ll definitely
  have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful!
  Bob says  we’ll   have so much snow by the end of winter, that I’ll
  never want to see snow again. I don’t think that’s possible.
  Bob is such a nice man.  I’m glad he’s our neighbor.

December 14:     Snow lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped
  to  -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath
  away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the
  life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything
  again.  I didn’t realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but
  I’ll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish l wouldn’t huff and puff so.

December 15:     20 inches forecasted. Sold my van and bought a 4×4 Blazer.
  Bought snow tires for the wife’s car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the
  freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out.
  I think that’s silly. We aren’t in Alaska, after all.

December 16:     Ice storm this morning. Fell on my rear end on the ice in
  the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like you cant believe. The wife
  laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.

December 17: Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go
  anywhere.  Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay
  warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her.
  Guess I should’ve bought a wood stove, but won’t admit it to her.
  God, I hate it when she’s right. I can’t believe I’m freezing to death in my
  own living room.

December 20:     Electricity’s back on, but had another 14" of the stuff
  last night. More shoveling. Took all day. That dumb snowplow came by
  twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they’re
  too busy playing hockey. I think they’re lying.

December 21:     Called the only hardware store around to see about buying
  a snow blower and they’re out. Might have another shipment in March. I
  think they’re lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done
  and bill me.  I think he’s lying.

    December 22:    Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches

of the white crud fell today, and it’s so cold it probably won’t  melt  till August.

Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out  to shovel and then I had to use

the bathroom.  By the time I got undressed, went, and dressed again, I was

too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter;

but he says he’s too busy. I’m sure he is lying.

December 23:     Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife
  wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she
  nuts?!! Why didn’t she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she
  did but I think she’s lying.

December 24:     6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel.
  Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a gun
  who drives that snowplow, I’ll drag him through the snow by his ears.
  I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling
  and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow
  all over where I’ve just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing
  Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was busy watching for that snowplow.

December 25: Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of the miserable slop
  tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God I
  hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation
  and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad
  attitude. I think she’s an idiot. If I have to watch "It’s a Wonderful
  Life" one more time, I’m going to scream!

December 26:    Still snowed in. Why did I ever move here? It was all HER
  idea. She’s really getting on my nerves.

December 27: Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze.

December 28:     Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in.
THAT WOMAN  is driving me crazy!!!!!

December 29: 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it
  could cave in. That’s the silliest thing I ever heard.
  How dumb does he think I am?

December 30:     Roof caved in. The snow plow driver is suing me for a
  million dollars. The wife went home to her mother. Nine more inches of
  snow predicted.

December 31:    Set fire to what’s left of the house. No more shoveling.

January 8: I feel so good. I just love those little white pills they
  keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?

 

Our house in November

Need I mention that by the 3rd snowfall, we purchased a snow blower???

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11 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Joe
    Jan 08, 2009 @ 13:42:21

    I just couldn\’t stop laughing! Ain\’t it something how different life is when you live with snow so much? LOL!

    Reply

  2. Al's
    Jan 08, 2009 @ 14:05:42

    Hmmmmm, no nap? Well, I certainly got a chuckle.Love ya,Al

    Reply

  3. Robin
    Jan 08, 2009 @ 14:29:46

    I am in Florida and have been missing the snow, maybe not so much now…..! LOL Thank\’s for sharing.

    Reply

  4. Beth
    Jan 08, 2009 @ 14:49:08

    I hate snow and I tell anyone who asks that I hate it. But ice is even worse and we have had a lot of that so far. That was funny.

    Reply

  5. Sheila
    Jan 08, 2009 @ 16:30:59

    ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I\’m laughing so hard I have tears in my eyes and my sides hurt. I shouldn\’t do that though … laugh I mean. We\’ve had a mild winter so far and I haven\’t had to shovel any snow. I know, I know … it\’s coming. January and February are our snowy months. I won\’t be quite as bad as the guy in the story. I won\’t mind shoveling the first few times and then hate it but I won\’t burn my house down.

    Reply

  6. Angel eyes
    Jan 08, 2009 @ 18:21:58

    don\’t we just love winter angel eyes

    Reply

  7. Embrace
    Jan 08, 2009 @ 20:40:04

    I love love your blog . I do love snow but not the real cold. Thanks for the smiles here. Everytime I come here I get lost in the Beauty off your space. All the Images and colors. I think I have told you this one before Rhonda. It is Beautiful. Hugs Lisa xo

    Reply

  8. Patsy
    Jan 09, 2009 @ 11:26:34

    I laughed so hard at this. Thanks for sharing. Hope you have a great weekend. Hugs, Pat

    Reply

  9. freckles
    Jan 10, 2009 @ 15:09:15

    hehee !! i know i love snow- but thats because we don\’t any ( an inch or so if we are lucky lol) take care ~x~

    Reply

  10. Brett
    Jan 10, 2009 @ 16:26:20

    Loved it,quite comical.I give your Space two hooves up.Really enjoyed my visit,will be sure to keep visting.Now if you\’ll excuse me,I have to go wee,wee,wee,all the way home.Your Space is "pigtastic" ~ Piggy ~

    Reply

  11. Gill.
    Jan 10, 2009 @ 18:01:53

    Oh Rhonda I just loved that blog. As much as I love the snow I am glad I live in england thanks. Could not cope with too much lol. The pic of your hous elooks very lovely in the snow :)Love and hug s Gill. xx

    Reply

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