Seven Reasons Not to Mess with Children!

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, ‘When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah’.

The teacher asked, ‘What if Jonah went to hell?’
The little girl replied, ‘Then you ask him’.

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, ‘I’m drawing God.’

The teacher paused and said, ‘But no one knows what God looks like.’

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, ‘They will in a minute.’

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.  After explaining the commandment to ‘honor’ thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, ‘Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?’
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, ‘Thou shall not kill.’

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, ‘Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?’

Her mother replied, ‘Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.’

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, ‘Momma, how come ALL of grandma’s hairs are white?"

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
‘Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, He’s a doctor.’

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, ‘And there’s the teacher, she’s dead.’!

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, ‘Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it , and I would turn red in the face.’
‘Yes,’ the class said.

‘Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position, the blood doesn’t run into my feet?’

A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain’t empty."

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: ‘Take only ONE God is watching.’
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, ‘Take all you want. God is watching the apples.’

Have a blessed day everyone!

16 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Touch
    Jun 28, 2009 @ 12:42:23

    Out of the mouths of babes!


  2. Princess
    Jun 28, 2009 @ 12:54:13

    Brilliant!!! Loved em all!! Thank u 4 the laughs!!! Luv PF XXX


    Jun 28, 2009 @ 13:21:26

    Rhonda, I read these once before in an email someone sent me, but I got a kick out of them then, and another one re-reading them today. I have to agree with Art Linkletter, kids really do say the darndest things . . . And even funnier, is when one of these little gems come out of a child\’s mouth when you least expect it.Take care and thanks for the morning chuckle!Hugs,Becky


  4. ♬ŠŨŇ
    Jun 28, 2009 @ 13:29:56

    Fab Rhonda, I will need to try and remember these so I can tell my sisters. I did chuckel, thanks. Hugs, Xx


  5. Beth
    Jun 28, 2009 @ 13:32:01

    Great post Rhonda. Thanks!!


  6. Curtis
    Jun 28, 2009 @ 13:50:26

    Thank you Rhonda I needed that this morning.


  7. Gill.
    Jun 28, 2009 @ 14:44:13

    Dont ya just love kids eh ??? They bring us so much pleasure with their little ways….until they get older that is lol!!!


  8. Joe
    Jun 28, 2009 @ 15:59:37

    I really love these, I\’ve got three kids of my own and know they can really surprise you with the things they say. Thanks for sharing!


  9. Terry
    Jun 28, 2009 @ 17:26:35

    Those ae just precious. Never mess with a kid. Thanks


  10. nita
    Jun 28, 2009 @ 17:36:08

    oh priceless – rhonda, thanks for sharing and giving me a giggle or two. take care – nita.


  11. simon
    Jun 28, 2009 @ 17:44:20

    1-3 & 7- Thankyou for the laughter menu. 🙂


  12. Duckie
    Jun 28, 2009 @ 17:55:30

    These are great!!!! My first year teaching math to 7th graders, I put up a bulletin board the 11th commandment "Thou shalt not divide by zero." That class had my number, so to speak, from the get go.


  13. Robin
    Jun 28, 2009 @ 18:43:38

    Hi Rhonda,So sorry it has been so long, I hope all is well.Thank\’s for the laugh these are great !Take care,Robin


  14. Rambling
    Jun 29, 2009 @ 08:23:01

    That\’s fun! I enjoyed the grin and giggle this morning,


  15. Lisa ♥
    Jun 29, 2009 @ 16:39:11

    Rhonda this is Priceless.. Thank you.Hugs


  16. Nina
    Jul 03, 2009 @ 18:01:10

    I haven\’t laughed so much in ages. I love it Thank you for sharing. Out of the mouths of babes hey?


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